Twenty-four year old Sherwin had every reason to be bitter.  Born a child of the slums, he and his 7 younger siblings were abandoned by his father when Sherwin was only 19 years old.  Then, at the age of 20, his mother ran off with another man saying that she wasn’t happy with life with her children. 

Sherwin was left alone to look after the younger ones aged from five to 18.  As if that wasn’t enough, his little sister Christy was born with a cleft palate and hair lip. There was no way that he could afford to pay for an operation to repair the damage, let alone support his siblings.

Life is so unfair sometimes.

When Sherwin’s dad left he was heartbroken, but at least he felt they could adjust.  His father’s addiction to alcohol had caused many problems and Sherwin had had to take his dad to hospital for help on more than one occasion.  But when his mother left too, Sherwin was devastated. 

“I cried myself to sleep at night.  I was so hurt and angry and confused.  How could she do this to us?  How could she leave me to provide for her family?  How could I be a father to my own brother and sisters?” Sherwin’s questions of that time still ring with deep pain.

At the time his hurt and anger caused him to wish that his mother would somehow realize the pain her indifference had caused her family, and that she would remember that for the rest of her life.

Today, Sherwin thinks differently.  His younger sister Kathy, who lives nearby with her husband, has taken the responsibility of being a mother to the younger children.  She has shared the burden and joy of this family with Sherwin. 

While Sherwin still grieves because of his parents’ failings, he says he has forgiven them both.  He confesses that sometimes looking at other families makes him envy the love and support he sees where mother and father live in a nurturing relationship with their children.  Nevertheless, he still wishes that he and the brother and sisters he loves could have had parents who would have been there for them when they needed them most. 

Yet Sherwin is an amazing young man.  He seems to understand that his parents were unable to do this.  Meeting him recently in Manila I asked him how he was able to forgive them when many people would hold on to the burden of this pain for the rest of their lives.

“Forgiveness is a learning process,” he says with wisdom beyond his years. “You learn to forgive step by step, and little by little.” This is wisdom that only comes with suffering. 

Sherwin continues, “It doesn’t come easily but when you are a Christian, we need to have an attitude of forgiveness just like Jesus had when he hung upon the cross.  So, no matter what my parents did, they are still both my parents and somehow I try to honour them.”

He astounds me when he says, “At first I felt ashamed that I even felt I wanted to ask God ‘Why did this have to happen?” 

Sherwin was ashamed that he wanted to ask God the question, many of us would shake our fists at God over lesser suffering than this.

“I didn’t want to blame God for their leaving us, but I was very worried at the time – how could I ever provide for my sisters and my brother, and especially for Christy who needed so much more than I could give.”

In the slum community where Sherwin’s family live, there was added shame as their family became a topic of conversation amongst neighbours who were saddened by the parents abandonment of their children.

Despite all this, Sherwin and Kathy have adjusted very well.  They take it in turns to go to parent-teacher days at the local school.  At first Sherwin felt embarrassed and helpless when he had to go to the school in place of his parents, but now the teachers understand, and respect the stance that Sherwin and Kathy have taken. 

“Along the way, this will make me strong,” he says.  “I know God has a plan, for every individual, and these things help prepare us for that.”

A normal day for Sherwin starts at 4am in the morning when he gets up and cooks rice in the tiny shanty house in which they live.  One kilo of rice provides breakfast and lunch for his family.  Later, Kathy will come in from her own hut a few doors away to prepare meat or fish to go with the rice, and she cleans the little house and helps with daily chores in getting the children ready for school

After cooking breakfast and dressing the children, Sherwin takes them to school and goes to work with International Needs Philippines.  At 5pm he leaves IN to continue with another role as Chairman of the 39 Youth Organizations in Marakina City. His responsibility is to help facilitate leadership training and projects to empower disenfranchised youth of the city.  Around 250 young leaders work under his leadership.

He has dreamed of becoming a leader, taking the teachings of Christ, and inspiring others through Godly leadership, and his dream is fast becoming reality.

The City Council has appointed him to this honorary position where daily he meets with other young leaders as they discuss and plan projects to empower the youth of the streets and the slums in their locality.  Occasionally, the Council pays an allowance to him. They understand how difficult it is for this young man to provide for his family.

Yet many times, there has just not been enough to go around.  With no money for rice, or clothing for the family, IN Director Nestor Flores and his wife Beth have been the ones to step in and be a surrogate mum and dad to Sherwin and the family.  Reluctantly, Sherwin has been forced from time to time to ask for a loan from Nestor to buy rice or clothing for the children, but Nestor won’t hear of a loan.

“We just help him in whatever we can,” says Nestor who with Beth loves Sherwin as a son.  Even the IN staff, many of whom are poor themselves, will pool together to support this family.

Sometimes his grandmother, his father’s mother will provide groceries but this is rare as she too can little afford it.

The slum area in which Sherwin’s family lives is called “Labos Bakod.” The term literally means “Outside the Fence” and points to the isolation of those outcast from wealthier society because of the curse of poverty.

Their little house is two storeys, but they can only use the ground floor now as white ants have the made the second storey too dangerous to inhabit.  At night, all the children sleep on one mat on the floor in the tiny living room/kitchen.  Several times a year the river that flows as a stream past Labos Bakod becomes a raging torrent, and floodwaters fill the houses to the top of the windows.  This is life and there’s nothing they can do about it except wait for the water to subside before they start to clean up and salvage what is left.

When I first met Sherwin four years ago in Manila I would never have imagined such a traumatic background to this handsome and jovial young man. 

So what is the secret to Sherwin’s life and his inspiration?  “My secret is that I am a Christian, but my inspiration comes from my little sister Christy,” Sherwin says.  “Born handicapped as she was, I just wanted to help her develop her personality and her social life and more especially her relationship with God.

“When my parents left us, I just knew that I could never abandon my brother and sisters like they did.”

The most important thing in life for Sherwin is his relationship with Jesus Christ.  He says that is the thing that really keeps him going, that and the church family that have become so supportive to him.

“You know, the greatest pleasure I get is when I serve people around me – especially the youth.  My dream has always been to become a leader to these people. I’ve seen a lot of young people who are in trouble.  There are many who suffer from the use of drugs and alcohol.  They just don’t know the importance of life and their health.  That’s why I got involved with youth organizations.

And the Inter-National Needs Network, what that does that mean to him?

“Well, as an organization it changes people’s lives, helping them spiritually and with physical needs so they can better mould their lives.  I like IN because it promotes common good things and helps people develop as individuals to their full potential.  A lot of needy children are helped in my area and that means that their future will be much better. 

“People in the slum where we are live hopeless lives, but because of IN and the love of God, and even the changes they see in my life, they seem to find hope for the future that they too can live better lives too.”

Sherwin comments that his brothers and sisters often ask “how did you do this?  How can you accomplish all the things that you have? You are not old enough to do all these things”  Sherwin’s answer to them is that of an old wise man. “I’m always telling them,” he says, “Do-it-now the good things that you can do today, don’t put it off until tomorrow”.

And what of his friends and neighbours in “Labos Bakod”?

“Life in Labos Bakod is difficult.  We need education here, because education is our only wealth.  Many of the parents had no education because of poverty so that they dream that their children will be able to be more equipped and more socially adjusted than they have been.”

“They just want their children to be more confident than they are, even though their situation is still very poor.  They will do anything to help their children by becoming housemaids to wealthy people, washing people’s clothes.  Anything.”

Sundays are not the best days in Labos Bakod.  It is then that some of the fathers drink and when they are drunk they start to fight.

Pastor Nestor Flores, Executive Director of IN Philippines was the first pastor to enter this slum and seek to do something for the poor people living there.  Today, many of them attend his church and it has been amazing that the leaders of the church have often come from the slums.  It’s as if with so little to give they are the ones who will give most.

“The good thing about living in a slum,” says Sherwin, “is that people help each other.  If you have a problem they are willing to sacrifice to give time for you to help.  For example, if a mother is going to have a baby and the husband is not around neighbours will help in taking the mothers to the hospital.”

But then, there are no doors to close so that people can hide their suffering and their shame.  In our western society many people live in situations where they don’t even know their neighbours, let alone whether they are well or sick, rich or poor.

“When people don’t have enough to eat, others share what little they have with them,” says Sherwin.

As a child Sherwin was sponsored by an Australian family attending a church in Blackburn Victoria.  Without this sponsorship and subsequent relationship with International Needs, his present life would be very different.  After completing High School he was sponsored by IN to complete a computer course and at this time is being sponsored by a group of women from Blackburn Community Church of Christ to complete a teacher training course.

IN also organised the funds for his little sister Christy to receive operations to repair the hair lip and cleft palate.  The first operation was supported by Later this year Sherwin will be coming to Australia, his first overseas visit, to deputise on behalf of Inter-National Needs Network Philippines.  He will be speaking in churches and meeting youth groups to help share his passion for Christ and for the needs of young people.  With his dream of wanting to become a leader, and the successes he has gained already from such a difficult background, IN Australia believes he will be a real inspiration to Australian youth.

For further information or to invite Sherwin to speak in your church please contact IN Australia one

03 9877 7177 or email davidin@tpg.com.au

David S Ayliffe

Executive Director IN-Network Australia

www.in-australia.org.au

Phone 050 050 5550 or 0425 733 361

David, Pastor Nestor, Pastor Chris, Beth and Sherwin

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